Damn… I was watching a video of a Livestream and one of the people in the chat said “if I was struggling with mental health in my 30s I would just kms”
And now I’m really feeling like shit and a failure at life… I know realistically mental illness doesn’t matter how old you are but fuck… I never wanted to be 30 and this bad…
I’m just too much of a coward to pull the trigger even when my life and being able to survive is steadily on the decline…
So I have a friend who I don’t talk to that often and they don’t talk to me that often either…unless I talk to them first …like every couple of weeks? Anyways they are always like omg I missed you!
But it also seems fake because half the time if I send a meme or something I find interesting they don’t respond or react or anything to let me know they opened it.
It just feels weird that they say they miss me when throughout this friendship they’ve pushed me so far down in the friendzone that I can’t have strong emotional attraction anymore because I’ve been shut out by their actions. Avoided me when I lived closer, avoided me when I was actually interested.
Anyways idk them saying they missed me but refuses to talk unless spoken to seems fake?
Idk I guess if I miss a friend I just message them?
Maybe this friend misses the concept of me and not my actual self???
Idk friendship is confusing.
Anonymous
bpd culture is having the random urge to disappear for a week to see if anyone would miss you
.
